There are days it’s hard to be-
To toss aside the half-sweaty sheets, drag your tired self to the shower. Water slipping on skin . Alive. You’re to float through another Today and keep those emotions from spilling over your sore edges. Just remember to breathe. Oh how ordinary it all should look.
This doesn’t help you know. Yet what else?
Other days life flows. Soothes. Fulfills all its promises. Laughter and blue skies. Hugs and sunshine in your belly. Your prayers aren’t a knot of unreached words in your chest.
24 looks good on you. One of those off point remarks someone made at your birthday party. So you turn off the lights when you’re alone and try not to overthink. You turn the lights back on, take off everything -slowly, unfeeling- and stare at 24 years of skin and shadows. It doesn’t hurt. You’d thought it would.
Sam chokes on photos 30 minutes later in front of his clients. And swallows. He feels like a great husband. One only gets to realise these things when the sun has set. Something less terrifying.
“You’re having a midlife crisis. Lol.” It is Sam. You’re still here and nowhere. Waiting for 24 to feel good on you.